Tough Pig Incredible Journey

Monday, September 10, 2012

Cat Hypnotism

By the way, I would like to point out that it is apparently possible to hypnotize me through the cunning use of cats.
Danny 3107.8

 Isha, I like your hat. It goes especially well with your third arm.
Michal 3109.25

Fire escape grating?
You and your fetishes.
Scott to Quinn 3110.59

You mean this isn't the Tough Estelle Getty forum?
Ryan R 3110.80

There's no way I'm discussing the weather on a Muppet fan message
board. I simply refuse. What's the cliché about weather and conversation?
I can not, and will not post about how it snowed lastnight, and we got
about a foot or so. And that it warmed up today, but is quite cold now,
and windy.
And I certainly will not mention anything about how the
dumbfuck-hired-help-snow-shovelor did a crappy job clearing a 3 car
occupancy drive-way, by only removing enough snow for one car.
I can't believe it's come to this. On Tough Pigs, of all places, we're discussing the weather!?! Sheesh.
Patrick 3119.23

Best weird call I ever got was when I lived in a house run by an organization called "St. Paul's Outreach."
I picked up the phone and the man said, "Hello! Is St. Paul there?"
And, thinking it was a prank call from the guys' house I laughed. The man says "May I speak to St. Paul please?" and I stopped laughing. The guy said "Is this the house of St. Paul Outreach?" I said "Yes!"
He said "My name is such and such from such and such bank. May I speak to St. Paul?"
I said "Uhhhhhhm..."
and he says "Wait. ... ... Is this a church?" and I said "Yes." and he hung up.
Isha 3119.42

Also, you win a thread all to your very own, which you can enjoy for about three posts, then watch in horror as it gets hijacked and is yanked further and further off topic, until it consists of nothing but the words "goat," "monkey," and "Quinn's penis."
Kynan 3125.2

Of Bug-Eating and Johny Fiama

If you'd think anything would be obvious, it'd be Italian Johnny Fiama products.
Anthony 3084.2

Eating bugs just isn't cutting it anymore. People need to be prepared.
Guest 3085.9

And that post just magically changed before my eyes. You're an amazing man.
But we've covered that.
Quinn to Danny 3086.5

I think the pantless bear is being abused.
Quinn 3087.3

My idea is this: A collection of funny forum lines from 2003, which I can post around New Year's for the amusement and nostalgia of all. We're witty people and we say many funny things, so I thought it would be neat to grab all the funny stuff out of context and put it on display
Danny 3089.1

Some thoughts for you all as you look back over the TP year:
John is the funniest human who ever lived.
Ryan is the funniest STRAIGHT human who ever lived.
Danny is not human, so he's in a different category.
 Kynan, obviously, is me. So, you know. Extra points.
Michal is a Funny Little Thing. (This could be more important than you realize.)
Let's not forget -- Isha is (or, at some point, was) a really nice girl. Her innocence (or lack thereof) must be worth something.
Warrick has the body of Fabio, the heart of a newborn 10-year-old boy, and a weird thing for Dionne Warwick. He either deserves our respect, or our pity. Possibly both.
Joggy manages to be weird and obtuse in many languages simultaneously. As for Julia, ditto, but for "weird and obtuse," substitute "hot and sexy."
Ditto Thijs, but for "hot and sexy," substitute, "unpronounceable." Also "lucky."
Alaina went away to learn how to be a better hippie, and came back with tales of animal mutilation. Heart of gold, sure, but her words tell a different story.
Anthony, bless his soul, has read every TP thread ever conceived. He is not yet, as far as we know, criminally insane. He's gotta deserve SOME kind of reward.
 Emmy is Emmy. I think you know what I'm trying to say.
But above all -- Jess is my girlfriend. So she gets EXTRA special treatment. Not everyone is mentioned here. That's because I'm drunk...Also lazy.
Kynan 3089.30

Since you're offering, I'll take a platypus. Or a wallaby, if that's more convenient.
Anthony 3089.33

Exploding heads are a learning experience. I've survived two of them, and one by one my friends have decided it's trendy and followed suit.
Michal 3096.16

I'm at work right now (obviously, since I'm at TP) and just got a call from Melissa--evidently Miles has been standing two feet from the TV for the last 30 minutes watching VMX. She said he breaks away at commercials and comes over to her and says "ELMOCOOKIEKRRKRRGOHELLOBEAR!" and points at the screen, and then the Muppets come back and he goes back into his trance.
We're such good parents.
Quinn 3103.38

YAY! The Little People will have their own goat to ...appreciate!
Quinn 3106.19
Oh, quinn. May thy lust for the goat never slacken.