Tough Pig Incredible Journey

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

November 14, 2003

"I had no idea Warrick was 6'4" or Dionne Warwick was still alive." Anthony 2933.4

"Maybe he's including hair length in his calculations.
I feel weird about wanting to pat him on the head now, knowing that I'd have to use a step-ladder to do it." Kynan 2933.7

"I keep telling people: You don't have to visit Muppet Central. It will never make you happy again. It only makes you sad and furious.
But nobody listens to me. Until it's too late. "
Danny 2943.19

"I think it's Danny's goat, and he just lets us all borrow it.
We are all associated with the goat. Or at least we should be...or will be... or something."
David S 2943.28
"The goat does not belong to anyone except itself. It is its own independent goat.
It just hangs around with us because it chooses to. Kind of like Quinn."
Danny 2943.29

"All goats are aspects of The One True Goat." Danny 2943.38

November 13, 2003

"Danny, for fun I decided to look for my name on google, and found this site that credits both you and I on Muppet Projects: Muppet Christmas Carol, and The Muppets Meet Julie Herschbaum (what the heck is this?)...check it out." Artie 2930.1

"It also says that Phil Chapman is Kermit the Frog.
And Cindy is Miss Porker.
Here's Danny's bio. Says he worked on the Christmas Carol too." Nate 2930.3

That is a fucking window into madness.
TP members with good memories will remember that imaginary show as being the peculiar fantasy of none other than Orange Oscar, aka Dean Onessimo. Apparently, now that he can't play Muppet Survivor with us, his new hobby is to submit names to this Voice Chasers site.
Hey Jes, you remember how I said this guy was a scary psycho, and you said, no, he's just a foreign kid? Well, guess what? I win.
So there's two things I want to know at this point:
#1. Why is the person who runs this Voice Chasers site so gullible?
#2. Who the hell is Julie Herschbaum?" Danny 2930.7

"Happy Birthday Cathy--may it be filled with Muppets and aging and high quality hair care." Quinn 2931.8

"At last my life is complete. I can now utter lollipop on TP." Nate 2931.24

November 12-13, 2003

"I am the most contrary boy in the world." Danny 2906.8
"Yeah--but at least you're not a woman. That'd be much MUCH worse." Quinn 2906.13
"Well, maybe I am a woman. Ever think of THAT, smart guy? Hanh?" Danny 2906.14

"Everything's better with a removable chicken." Danny 2906.14

"Alison Bartlett is now Alison Bartlett-O'Reilly.
This means she either got married, or she had a high-speed collision with a rogue hyphen." Kynan 2911.6

"I don't remember anything related to sporting events. It's my nature. " Danny 2912.24

Cathy spends the morning with Steve and Kermit: 2913.11

"Some dude translated "Baby Got Back" into Latin, then back into English. Have I mentioned this yet?
It had phrases like "Lo! Her trousers are stuffed full of buttock!"" Michal 2914.24

The first thread I remember lurking (Isha really was a nice girl once): 2917.1

"My No-Niceness policy makes exceptions for people that I want to have sex with, and people that might conceivably give me Christmas presents. You fit into both categories." Danny 2917.35

Thursday, June 08, 2006

Nov 11, 2003

"Let me get this straight... there is a whole family of OrangeOscars stalking us on the forum?
Some weird shit goes on here, lemme tell you." Jessica 2894.9

"I love Beeker and Busen playing chess!" Isha 2895.2

"My birthday is on Kermit the Frog Day! A cooler birthday there shall never be!" Cathy 2896.2

"Bad writing is my Kryptonite." Kynan 2903.40

"I actually think this story would make the ultimate Muppet fan drinking game. It gets passed around the group, and you have to read as much as you can out loud without laughing. When you laugh, you have to stop, take a drink, and pass the story on to the next person."
Danny 2903.53

November 11, 2003

"Damn you, Kynan! You're making it official that "Minx" is another nom-de-tough-pigs for me." Patrick 2885.38

"Years ago, when the Ruffin Theater in Covington TN did the play, I wanted to audition for AudreyII, but my mom said, "No! It cusses, dammit!"" Kevin 2888.2

"By the way, how much fun is it to tease the Palisades kids? I never imagined I'd get this much mileage out of it. " Danny 2890.26

"I can't expect people to save me from making a fool of myself.
That would be a 24-hour job, and the pay is low." Danny 2892.30