Tough Pig Incredible Journey

Sunday, April 09, 2006

Day Five (August-October 2002)

I didn't realize that a TPer worked on MirrorMask: 773.1

"So, yeah, Sesame Street makes ads in Japan, but apparently so does Brad Pitt, so how bad can it be." Danny 789.2

"Hmmm, when you start counting on Chicken Dance Elmo to get you through a crisis, that's not a good sign. " Danny 789.13

"I still can't say bust without thinking it sounds weird. " Danny 792.1

"Besides all that, Muppet movies on video and TV means I don't have to line up at a multiplex for a ticket: I can get my Muppet fix anonymously, just like I do with my third-rate ripoff videos and pornography." Kynan 793.8

"These figures are making me thirsty!" Kynan 797.7

"Apparently everywhere in outer space is England. " Danny 800.22

"LICENSEE: We, uh, we've decided to stop publishing Muppets stuff.
HENSON: Gee, why? I thought we had a thing going there.
LICENSEE: Yeah, the items sell well, it's just that every time we release something, we get emails from your fans berating us for not releasing something even more obscure.
HENSON: Oh, the fans. Yeah, we've heard about them. " Kynan 820.8

"Woohoo! Bring on the straight Muppet fans. 'Bout damn time." Jessica 822.32

"By the way, I can't help but notice that I said there were only five straight male Muppet fans, and then five straight male Muppet fans said, "Hey, I'm a straight male Muppet fan!"
It's nice to be proven right so precisely. " Danny 822.56

"Cookie Monster is a little off (he looks like a blue Elmo with a beer gut)." Jess 822.89

"Believe me when I say that was a completely unintentional sex change." Amberly 835.14

"I need advice for Swamp Years... When I took it out of the package and tried it out, I found out its left arm won't move. What can I do about that without breaking it? Should I gently turn it around with some pliers or put it in the fridge?" Jog 843.9

"Maybe we could create some kind of scale of happy-birthdayness that you could comfortably wish for people, as appropriate.
So I would wish my best friend a 100% happy birthday, an acquaintance a 40% happy birthday, and my worst enemy a -100% unhappy birthday. " Danny 850.16

"Here's some more ideas for what to do while everyone else is singing happy birthday to someone you hate:
-- Spill your drink on their furniture.
-- Flirt with their spouse.
-- Excuse yourself, go to their bathroom, look through their medicine cabinet and then come back and announce your findings.
-- Plot revenge. " Danny 850.27

Isha's official, according-to-her, first post. 852.1
"I blame you. All of you! You make me want to be a better muppet fan."

"Aren't we all ridiculously good looking? I thought that was a pre-req for being a Muppet fan. "
Danny 857.6

"Ridiculously gorgeous? Why yes, yes I am.
No, wait. Hold on. That's wrong.
I'm gorgeously ridiculous. Sorry for the confusion. " Ryan R. 857.17

"There are hidden depths to chickens," said Professor Christine Nichol who has studied their behavior. " Meagan 864.1 (I want to walk up to a random stranger and say that.)

"Squirrels in general are evil. But the big gray ones are, like, the zealous generals of the squirrel war. " Carolyn 864.23 (I think this girl has visited my college campus. Hilarious thread.)

"The only thing left to do is find out just what the hell Bambaloo is." Kynan 866.2

"Oh, sure, cause sending a cable channel a photograph of a cracker is a universally recognized method of civil disobedience." Danny 870.4

Random comment: Reading so much about KSY is actually making me want to watch it again. Wow. Pity that by the time I return to my DVD collection, this urge will be long forgotten and TMS Season One and unedited MFC will be my priorities.

"Oh !
I've got Fans !
Now all I need is Penguin bodyguards in Tuxedos!" Warrick 880.8

"There's a real Tough Pigs lesson in it: Stand up for what you believe in, and eventually, you get to play with dynamite." Kynan 886.2

"It's like some weird Muppet fan soap opera." Emmy 905.14

"And the one really amusing thing that I would recommend to any Muppet fan with a little time on your hands is to listen to the Spanish version of "Movin' Right Along." I feel for the poor translators who had to try to translate Paul Williams' incredibly wordy, nonsense-filled songs into that fast, quirky tune structure -- and then to have two voice actors try their best to sing it, probably with no idea what they're even singing about. But check it out, they're trying so hard to do an essentially impossible task. It's kind of touching, actually. " Danny 911.1 (I'm adding this to my to-do list.)

"You're right, how embarrassing would it be to be a Television Dolls Fan." Danny 911.7


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