Tough Pig Incredible Journey

Sunday, April 30, 2006

October 2003

I joined Muppet Central on October 1, 2003. This may not seem like a thing to be proud of, but it was a step which eventually led to excessive lurking at TP, and TP membership.
So at least from now on I have been an active online Muppet fan.

"You can call me Betty or Chevy Chase. Whatever works for you." Scott 2557.98

"I wish my name were "Boober." Or something boobage related." Quinn 2558.22

"Now I can sleep at night knowing that Frodo's body double and Diving Miss Piggy are the same guy. " Anthony 2565.2

Longest thread so far: New Muppet Hugging 2568.1 with 299 posts

"See, football, its name comes from the way you play it. Everyone lines up and looks at each other. Some guy blows a whistle or a horn or something. I can't remember. Then they all run at each other and push into each other until they all fall over. Then they keep doing it over and over again and nothing ever happens. They have to use feet to run at each other.
Get it? Football.
I'm not sure about any other sports. It's taken me three years to get a handle on football."
Anthony 2570.6

Scott's e-mail 2598.1

September 2003 II

"If Marty [Robinson] can't get puppetry accepted as an art form, he's got a good shot at getting it accepted as a branch of the construction industry." Kynan 2512.2

Tough People at the Jim Henson statue dedication: 2520.1

"Excellent, you caught me just as I was preparing to spit in Isha's face. What a beautiful photo." Danny 2520.27

"I remember Frank Oz talking about how leaving the used car lot was quite an experience. Oz was performing Fozzie and driving the car himself, even though he couldn't see where he was going. I think people from off camera were yelling directions at him. " Erik 2520.49

"I stole "Frog Bless You" from Danny at the statue dedication right in front of him. He looked at me like he wanted royalties." Scott 2520.86

"This reminds me that I've still never seen a picture of you [David S.].
You are an enigma. " Danny 2522.40
David S. doesn't exist either...

"Wholesome Muppeteer crushes. Just like Grandma used to have -- now fortified with calcium and iron." Kynan 2523.14

"Remember a few years ago when a guy hijacked a radio station and demanded they repeatedly play "Rainbow Connection?" If you're not careful, you'll end up like that." Ryan R. 2525.25
"That was me." Scott 2525.26

"Rutabaga, rutabaga, ra ra ra!
Rutabaga, rutabaga, sis boom ba!" Michal 2525.45

First Tough Pigs duet, with Jog and Isha: 2536.1

*Irony alert*
Paul to Julian: "Please don't move to America! ;)" 2542.36

"My toys adore me. " Danny 2549.10

Playing with Translations (Sept 2003)

"The calculation of Barretta is a delicious square of muppet." Jackie 2513.3

"To the morning, are, we who we are and we are they, of which, like like very famous the electrical worker of the mutilation!" Kelly 2513.6

"Why it is the song of altretanta here in the rainbow?" Nate 2513.9

"I smack of will loves you a bad bad correct ass." Michal 2513.10

"We are here, that we are disowned, excess of the extension he." Nate 2513.14

"You dance your distant Obacht moved absentee, you who take him well-taken care of well-taken by from a other day. You dance to distant absentee your Obacht to the surface more under possible with the cliff of fraggle" Isha 2513.20

"Great city, hmm? Of the phase. Work, huh? But. Only people. People are people. Aucuns is the constructions. They are the tomatos, huh? If she is people, you to dance, it is music, he is potatoes. Because a person is person. Aprovaçã0?" Emmy 2513.21

"It's excellent that "peoples is peoples" translates accurately no matter what. " Danny 2513.23

MC vs TP (Sept 2003)

ROFL.
http://forum.muppetcentral.com/showthread.php?t=9769

What Tough Pigs say about this strange piece of miscommunication:

"It's the perfect MC thread.
What I love about it is that the other people are treating Ben like he's communicating normally."
Danny 2512.17

"Is this guy for real?
I really hope not. Someone that preliterate shouldn't have anything to do with the Internet.
Or maybe he's being an idiot for a particular reason?"
Sarah 2512.19

What Muppet Centralers say in retrospect about this bizarre nonsense:

"I was searching for past posts... Came across this thread. It's pretty cute." Ziffel



Tough Pigs have the last word:

"All of this goes to prove my eternal point that reading MC is not healthy for children or other living things." Danny 2512.57

"Like rhododendrons." Scott 2512.58

We are so superior in the sanity department.

Friday, April 28, 2006

September 2003

Anthony's first post: 2433.21

"I pledge allegiance, to the RNC, of the Tough Pigs Muppet Fan Party; and to the Doll Wigglers, for which they stand, a bunch of fun-lovin freaks, under Frog, for Muppets and sex for all... (but not necessarily together)." Scott 2436.7

"I actually kind of respect what Julie Andrews started to do. Her first book was published under 'Julie Edwards'." David S 2437.68
I love The Last of the Really Great Whangdoodles. And not just because I love Julie Andrews.

"I also want a Rembrandt folder, a Fungus folder, an Exploding Pants folder, a Kermit Toys With Hair folder, a Characters with No Eyeballs folder, and an I'm Not Hester, I Promise folder." Kynan 2439.11

"Sullivan is so bad I wasn't even thinking about how bad he was. He's so bad he's funny. So much so that you don't even laugh." Scott 2440.14

"My kneejerk reaction with Depp is "overrated," but then when I think about the movies he's done, I like most of them.
So I guess my kneejerk reaction is stupid." Quinn 2440.31
Actually "Depp" is kind of a mild German swear word for "idiot," in case you didn't know.

"I don't know what 'Götterdämmerung' is, but I really, really hope it's some sort of stage show with goats." David S 2440.77

"My friends and I still say, "I'm doing the ooga-chocka's"" Patrick 2458.17
"It's especially cool if you do it during somebody's wedding." Danny 2458.21
Uh-oh, I'd keep an eye on these guys, Cathy...

"I think putting lines through one's "Z"s and "7"s is a general European thing. That said, I cross the sevens because it makes them more legible. People who cross their "Z"s are just trying to be French, in my opinion." Michal 2459.26
In Germany, if I don't cross my "7"s they are mistaken for "1"s. And if I don't cross my "Z"s, people spell my name "Elisabeth" instead of "Elizabeth" on official documents. Even though "Elisabeth" is prettier, it isn't my name!

"I'm naming my next daughter Alice Braithwaith Goodyshoes Hanson." Scott 2459.50

Big Bird on the Ed Sullivan Show was performed by Danny Segreen. 2468.1

"I've been wanting to learn to quilt ever since I got the Muppets Quilting book, but I figure first, I should probably learn to sew. Baby steps." Cathy 2476.17
I, on the other hand, know how to quilt, but not how to applique, which is the method used on those squares in the book. I will make a Muppet quilt someday, even though finding materials in the right colors will be a pain. In the meantime I perfect my skills on other quilt projects.

"This proves what I've always suspected: Michael Caine was high the entire time they were filming Christmas Carol. He thought it was a sequel to Blame It On Rio. " Danny 2486.4

"The hokey pokey LIED to me." David S 2496.70

"By the way, at what point do the Tough Pigs Soap Opera posts just take over the entire board?
I can't keep track anymore of who's supposed to be having a mad fling with who. Whose legs are those?" Danny 2505.85

Thursday, April 27, 2006

August- September 2003

Scott and Jes: 2347.1

"Why does Sweetumes have a purple boa? I can't really tell how he feels about it." Carolyn 2351.3

"Yeah, the more I think about it, the more this sounds like a good idea.
If more kids would get lessons in personal finance, there would be fewer 23-year-olds with maxed-out credit cards. " Danny 2362.10
I read "23 year olds" as "2 or 3 year olds." Which is much funnier.

"Anyone else have anything that they do that's driving your loved ones crazy, and you just can't stop?
Because I want to add to my repertoire. " Quinn 2367.1

""Bathysphere" is my new favorite word. I think from now on I'll sign off all my posts with it. " Tom 2383.12

First forum stats: 2397.1

Cathy loves TP (first post?) 2408.1

"Gee, it's a good thing I gave up Catholicism (for Lent) 10 years ago. It'll make these boards much more entertaining ;) " Cathy 2415.3
Cathy used to be such a nice girl.

"I seem to vaguely remember an old Bert & Ernie sketch where Ernie can't find Bert and is worried that something has happened to him. Ernie lists all the possibilites, with Bert standing behind him listening to the whole thing. At one point, Ernie thinks that Bert may have been carried off by monsters, "scary monsters with beady eyes and say 'wubba-wubba'". At this Bert shakes his head and repeats "wubba-wubba"?" Jeff 2423.5

"I have to admit I used to sing as a kid too. My mom should have beaten me up." Thjis 2423.29

Sunday, April 23, 2006

August 2003

Danny quotes Grapes of Wrath: 2307.1

"I do have a script 8of the early draft of MFS]-- actually, I have a couple drafts -- and I've also been planning at some point to do an Anthology based on that. (One of my many plans I haven't gotten around to yet, because it involves actually reading things and taking notes.)
I think the big difference was that Gonzo was revealed at the end not to be an alien. The aliens actually had seen transmissions of The Muppet Show as the signals traveled through space, and they fell in love with Gonzo and decided to imitate him. So when you first saw them, they looked like Gonzo -- but then it turned out that those were masks.
So at the end of the movie, we still don't know what Gonzo is -- but his friends tell him it doesn't matter, because he's part of the Muppets.
Whether that would have been a more satisfying ending or not I don't know. " Danny 2321.3

"So, last night I dreamt that I was visiting the forum from my car, while driving, and I saw that Scott was posting from tthe Starbucks at a reststop in West Virginia. So I decided I'd swing by and visit him. When I got there he was chatting with Quinn, and I was all excited and greeted them, but they weren't exactly normal.
Scott was dressed in cream and white, and was writing all kinds of poetry. He had dies his hair black which he said was "for dramatic effect."
Quinn was dressed in full army gear, because he was on assignment for his very popular muppet website, which specialized in revealing the latest Muppet Merchendise. He had a huge following who was eager to learn the latest secrets, so we went to this toy factory, and crawled through the bushes, and Quinn looked through his binoculars to see the latest cards in the "Muppet Trading Card Game."
Then he used Scott's digital camera to take pictures of them for the site.
I woke up and was highly amused." Isha 2324.1

"My mom always said she thought I would be a bag lady that talked to my shoes, so I always have that to fall back on." Alaina 2332.20

"Sometimes I TRY to look like Jesus, but I can't ever really pull it off. Not even with the beard, robes, and a towel on my head.
Maybe it's my attitude. " Quinn 2334.100

Quinn on Muppeteer Hugging: "...this is one step away from Floating Head Porn...
If y'all get to that point, be sure to post the link. " 2344.5

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

Day Fifteen Still Continuing (August 2003)

"You Know You're an Obsessed Muppet Fan When:
You drive an hour to the nearest comic book shop because you think that Muppets action figure might be there.
You try to guess the Number of the Day with Count and get angry when you don't guess the right number.
You ask your chef friend if he could whip up some radish bars.
You own all of those novelty rubber duckies, just because it all started with Ernie.
You watch Muppet Babies waiting for a cameo by Baby Janice or Bean Bunny.
You annoy your friends with all of your ridiculous Muppet facts." Ryan 2279.1

"You Know You Are An Obsessed Fan When...
- your name is on a Palisades package
- you buy clothes that make you look like Gonzo, Rizzo, Scooter, Ernie or Gobo
- you grow your hair because it makes you look Muppety
- the only reason you're kind to people is because you know it would be a great character moment if you were a Muppet
- you walk around scatting and going "Squeet squeet, squat squat" in Wembley's voice
- "Wo-man" and "Buh-bye" are words you use regularly
- you try to scrunch your face like Kermit whenever you're slightly annoyed, making yourself look highly idiotic
- you just DON'T care whether Ernie and Bert are gay or not - you design monster dungeon playsets for Palisades
- you redesign the Statler figure for Palisades
- you create a website about an unknown character, hoping that Palisades will make a figure of that character someday
- you seriously think that every Muppet ever made would sell as a seperate action figure
- you consider Miss Mousey a main character on the Muppet Show
- you learn the names of the Jack Parnell orchestra by heart
- you refer to yourself as Boober whenever you're slightly down
- you tell your friends to stop Wembling
- you don't use the name "that dog with the glasses" in your database of Muppet puppets
- you consider yourself a lover of puppetry whereas you hate marionettes, shadow puppets, ventriloquism and any other techniques the Muppets hardly ever used" Jog 2279.4

"That has to be the gayest thing written by a straight man ever. I love you!" David S. to Scott 2287.58
"It's an ongoing battle between Kynan and I." Scott 2287.60

"Pogs always sounded to me like something you ate and got indegestion from." Scott 2288.60

How gay are you? 2299.1

Day Fifteen Continued (August 2003)

Mystery of the Twiddlebug bookclub: 2190.1

"I love the picture of Herry throwing the candles at the Twiddlebugs on Page 14. Terrifying, very Godzillaesque, ultimately out of character for Herry, but very exciting if you're a little Twiddlebug yourself. " Quinn 2190.2

"So I think what I learned was....If I get pissed because bugs took my ugly pants, I should throw candles at them. " Alaina 2190.3

"Indeed, this would have been Early Herry. Feral Herry. WILD Herry. I think his nude state perfectly represents this untamed period of his life. " John 2190.22

"[Sherlock Hemlock]'s a drug dealer.
Think about it....
Hemlock... Not too bright... Always wandering around aimlessly." Nate 2190.38

"Speaking of Fraggle names, I only recently discovered that the name Traveling Matt is a joke.
A "traveling matte" is the special-effects term for (if I've got this right) a moving shot of performers with backgrounds added in later. " Danny 2195.20

*irony alert*
"It's nice to see Luke and MC doing some quality work." Danny 2199.1

Tough Pigs website turns two: 2247.1

"All of these Ryans is why I put the hyphens and my last initial in my name... It was either that, or legally change my name to Bartholomew." Ryan R 2255.4

Guillermo's first post: 2262.1

"What about these [new urban myths]:
-I am secretly dating Luke
-Carol Spinney was attacked during one of his booksignings by an anonymous person wearing a TP shirt
-Kynan does not live in Australia but he's a funny homeless person Danny keeps in his basement -Ken Lilly is married to Hester
-Quinn has been asked to design a new Muppet line for Palisades -
Charlotte doesn't exist, Mar and Mike only made her up to keep people from asking about new Kermitage updates " Julia 2266.49

Day Fifteen (July- August 2003)

"Whoever designed that cover needs to step away from the drugs and the crayons..." Emmy 2138.6

"Relationships are a lot like Fraggles, you know. In the beginning, things are very Red - exciting, passionate, playful. You become totally engrossed in the person, wanting to explore every part of what makes him tick, a la the ever curious Gobo. Then, after discovering the horrible truth about what makes him tick, you become a little withdrawn and introspective about where the relationship is going - very Mokey. He begins to notice you pulling away and asks you what's going on, and you both face that awful Wembley time of indecision. Then things finally end and you're left with nothing but a Boober story. Not to mention a Trash Heap." John 2139.4

"I'll cry for anything. But not Argentina. And not the Wiggles. " Quinn 2146.4

The Lynda Carter episode rocks bigtime. 2153.1

Mini Tough Pigs Fest in London: 2159.1
I'm kicking myself, I've been to Hampstead Heath and didn't notice Don Sahlin's bench.

"They should make Muppet band-aids featurin' "Vet's Hospital"!
Really!
They should! " Byron 2165.14

"I found a site where a third-grade teacher recommends using my piece on My Week with Tomie dePaola as supplemental reading with DePaola books...
I wish someone really would use Tough Pigs to teach elementary school. What an education those kids would get!" Danny 2177.1

"Y'know, I often feel that Telly is bothering me in some way, but I don't go attacking him with raingear. What's the matter with people? " Danny 2178.3
"If everyone who felt that a Muppet was bothering them attacked that Muppet, the real Elmo would need a 24 hour bodyguard." Ryan R 2178.4

Muppets Ice Cream Flavors: 2182.1

First Kiss: 2184.1

"Watching Dark Crystal drunk? I'm getting high from just watching Labyrinth, period. The key is to vigorously look at Bowie's crotch without blinking. Now that's better than mushrooms, spacecake and booze combined!" Julia 2185.35
"So our plan is to get together and look at David Bowie's crotch." Jog 2185.36

First Muppet Huggings: 2189.1

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

Day Fourteen Continued (July 2003)

"Isn't Martin Luther King on the list? I don't really see him as a "pop culture" icon. I mean, I love his movies, but his later albums weren't very good." Ryan R 2095.22

"I look darn cute.
And a little bit crazy. " Quinn 1096.1

"Hello everybody! I am your non-blue and not furry pal Patrick..." Patrick 2097.29

"I could change back to the Fake Names Club at any moment. I'm considering posting as "Natalie."" Ryan R 2100.8

"Welcome welcome welcome to the Big Blue Cult!" Danny 2012.60

"If babies start falling out of me, you better call Guiness. " Nate 2109.22

"I was just having dinner at an old couples house in Heidelberg and for dessert we were having canned pears with ice cream and syrup on them...sort of like a banana split but with pears...or "Birnen." So I was trying to be a polite good boy and was going on and on about how I'd never had "Dirnen" with ice cream, and how good the "Dirnen" were, and the whole time they were trying so hard not to laugh that eventually the old lady started crying. I thought I was just being my charming self, but no.
Turns out "Birnen" = "Pears" "Dirnen" = "Whores"
Yeah. So it was emotional pain, not physical pain, but it pained me nonetheless." Quinn 2114.19

"Oh yeah. I remember now. I date fruits." Nate 2119.16

"Go Muppet fan! You great big loser, you." Kynan 2126.1

First Tough Pig Fest: 2127.1 (pictures here: http://www.toughpigs.com/forumpicnic1.htm)

Danny describing the first Tough Pig Fest: "It was lovely. It was a poem. I'll describe what I can remember, with the understanding that some of it might be made up. " 2127.10

"Hee hee you guys are so cool. And by cool I mean really goofy looking. " Isha 2127.39

"Hell, I don't care if you are straight, gay, man, woman, cartoon, puppet, or have been dead for 40 years. If I find something attractive about someone, I'll have a crush. " Alaina 2127.66

Day Fourteen (July 2003)

"23) How did you get into the Muppets?
I didn't, the Muppets got into me.
24) What is the pinnacle of your life as a fanatic?
I'm livin' it, baby.
25) How did you find out about Tough Pigs?
It came to me in a horrible dream." Danny 2040.15

"Last night I had a dream that I had a PET King Prawn, which looked quite a bit like Pepe, because I don't know what the actual shellfish looks like...and my pet King Prawn ate a tarantula that was threatening my little family. And we were very pleased with our pet King Prawn.
And then I woke up thinking "what the hell was THAT?" " Quinn 2044.6

"Actually, when I saw Caroll Spinney and Oscar the Grouch in May, there was a couple of obnoxious kids in the group sitting on the floor in front of the podium where Caroll was speaking. Two of them in particular would not shut up. And their mother did nothing about it. They got even worse during the question & answering session when Caroll brought Oscar out.
One kid kept shouting out question after question and would not sit down. Finally Oscar leaned over the podium and snapped at him, "YOU'VE HAD YOUR TURN!!" But Caroll didn't flinch. He just kind of smiled as he continued on, saying "He can do that. He's a grouch."
The look on the then silent kid's face was priceless." Travis 2047.6

"I hope you're keeping a full list of aliases she's used all over the place. It might be fun to someday write up The History of Hester." Scott 2074.3

"Patrick said I was harsh. You aren't an evil vixon temptress.
Just a temptress. ;) " Nate to Cathy 2077.52

"I saw the sequel in Spanish, and it confused the hell out of me (actually, so did Spanish)..." Emmy 2083.6

Monday, April 17, 2006

Day Thirteen Still Continuing (June- July 2003)

"I prefer the Danny touch.
That just came out wrong. I'm sure someone really DOES prefer the Danny TOUCH, but I just like how you write." Quinn 1982.10

"We're all insecure, and we all mask our insecurities by acting tough. That's one of the reasons why Piggy is my hero.
Piggy goes for what she wants. When she's faced with a limitation, Piggy creates a new imaginary world in which the limitation doesn't exist -- and then makes that world funnier and better than the real world, so we're seduced into joining her there.
And she doesn't just do it in the fictional world of The Muppet Show, she did it in the real world. She created a world in which she was a glamorous movie star -- and within just a couple years, she actually made that happen. She really was on magazine covers, she really was applauded by millions. And she didn't do it by punching everyone in the face. She did it by being funny and amazing." Danny 1992.52

"Should we start a thread about unsupportive parents of Muppet fans?" Nate 1997.20
Count me in on that discussion... my mom really enjoys the Muppets herself, but my dad barely tolerates it. If my mom weren't there, he would probably forbid me to watch it, like Julian's dad. As it is, he doesn't say anything to me, but takes it out on my mom. We try to wait until he's out of the house before we watch the movies. Still, he knows about my Muppet collection and hasn't thrown it out or anything. Thank the Frog.

"Isn't it sad what happened to Digit in the latest Star Trek movie?" Tom 2005.12

The Muppets love liberty: 2010.21

Differences between Denmark and the Netherlands
-Denmark is Scandinavia, the Netherlands Benelux (Belgium and Luxembourg).
-Danish people joke about Swedes and Fins, we joke about Belgians and Germans.
-Danish girls are pretty, we have transsexual hookers in the red light district.
-Denmark is proud to have Hans Christian Andersen, we have Johan Cruijff.
-Danish people never get mistaken for Dutch, Dutch always get mistaken for Danish.
-The have Danish pastries, we have stroopwafels.
-We have a larger population of Muppet fans.
Julia 2011.11

"My favorite part of the show: the host calling you [Quinn] "a nut". " Jessica 2012.15
"I think that's my favorite part too. " Quinn 2012.16
"The host called you a nut? What did she say?" Danny 2012.19
"[She said] 'You are a nut.' " Jackie 2012.20

"Great, just great.
Not only can I not attend the picnic, but now I'll be made fun of in Puppet form.
Guess there's a first time for everything." Nate 2019.5

"Cripes, with all these new DVDs coming out, it's like I'm living in an alternate universe. " Scott 2033.5

"Dead Ed [Sullivan] looks like he's sneaking up on Kermit and Piggy to kill them. It really is a creepy picture." Dan 2033.50

"My personal theory is that Columbia-Tristar Home Video is run by a pack of trained seals. It's the only thing that makes sense. " Danny 2033.68

Day Thirteen Continued (June 2003)

"May none of you ever be without your computer. Amen." Jessica 1942.14

"Now I'm humming the 'Captain Vegetable" song... "
"It is I, Captain Abstinance
With my morals - no pornography!" Isha 1947.3

"Wait a minute... you mean you guys aren't sideshow freaks?
All this time, I was the only one?
Oh I am so embarassed." Isha 1954.18

"Okay, go ahead. You know you want to.
Replace Certain Words from Star Wars Dialogue With "Pants". " Danny 1963.31
"It works with just about anything. Like, "Great, Chewie, great. Always thinking with your pants," or "A tremor in the pants. The last time I felt it was in the presence of my old master."" Scott 1963.32

"Some of the early Sesame toys ... just look different, and strange, like pieces of primitive art based on Sesame characters. " Danny 1964.6

"Duh, *everyone* knows that Henson will be owned by a bunch of street mimes.
I mean it's *so* obvious..." Emmy 1976.12

"More than half the time I don't know what the hell you people are talking about here." Jessica 1979.42

I just sort of squealed from laughing at posts and everyone in the computer lab stared at me.

Day Thirteen (June 2003)

"What about a dart board with Muppephones who wail out a tone when you hit them?"
"I told the witch doctor..." Scott 1884.19

"I thought Muppaphone was the name of the instrument, like xylophone.
So if I kidnapped you and your family and tied you down to an instrument, I could call it "the Roephone," but once you got free, I bet you'd be pissed if anyone thought that was your real name.
Not that I'm planning to do that. I'm not. If it happens, it'll be on the spur of the moment. " Danny 1892.8

Hester: 1893.27

"Down in a bog
Kermit the Frog
Sat on a log
Wrote up a blog
On how funny that hog
looked trying to jog
Then out of the fog
came that very hog
Who pounded him into sog
and fed the remains to her little dog." Smig 1901.5

"Kermit the Forg
Was stepped on by a Gorg
And you can find him at
www.squishedthings.org" Michal 1901.7

"By the way, I am completely aware that when I say "I had to buy them" that there is no "had" about it, except in the most abstract sense of "The demon that lives in my head and makes me buy Muppet toys would be very upset." Danny 1907.12

"Well at the moment I am the Geekiest, I'm actually kind of enjoying it, even if it is only by .1%." Alaina 1921.8

"I just remembered that Tuesday is Geek Day!
(Aaaaaaand here's the long story on Geek Day: Two years ago I sent a fan letter to Dave Goelz. In an attempt to make my letter a little different, I included a list of really stupid questions. One of the questions being "If you could invent a holiday, what yould it be, and what would it celebrate?" He answered "Geek Day", which is a find sounding holiday to me. So I decided to make June 17 Geek Day. Just because I like doing weird things like that)" Emmy 1921.29

Sunday, April 16, 2006

Day Twelve Still Continuing (June 2003)

"Do you ever envision that inevitable, terrifying future where Elmo has overtaken the world? Tickle-Me-Elmos and Chicken-Dancing-Elmos and Pray-To-Me-Elmos abound. Elmo's face hangs in every living room, and everyone owns a Little Furry Red Book.
And always, ALWAYS, speakers pump out the awe-inspiring Message: "Elmo loves you. Elmo loves you. Elmo loves you..."
Big Monster is watching you." Michal 1848.19

Book Club Number Two: 1855.1

"I will also accept love and affection instead of dollars." Alaina 1858.17

"The best shows have actors that dislike each other in real life." Jackie 1859.10
Kermit and Piggy dislike each other in real life?

"Makes me wonder...unsightly body hair is obviously not a problem for monsters. So what do monsters fret about when it comes to personal appearance? Unsightly bald patches? Shedding in public? Having eyebrows that don't actually grow together? Hmmmm." foamyG 1860.40

"Frank was afraid of roller coasters but Jim eventually persuaded him to go on Space Mountain. Jim rode in the front car, with Frank right behind him. As the coaster started, Jim turned around to a white-knuckled Frank and said in Ernie's voice, "Here we go, Bert!"" Travis 1861.5

"I posted the same thing on MC, I feel so duplicated." Warrick 1865.1

"Instead, we have Elvis shoved down our throats. Yuck. " Kevin 1870.19
Do I ever agree. I wonder if anyone still likes Elvis after living in Memphis for a while.

"Just wanted to add that these impending DVD releases provide several profound revelations:
1.) There is a God, and God is a frog. " The_Patty 1875.67

"You make it sound like we are going to be buying lots of cool new Muppety things and having lots of sex at the same time. " Alaina 1881.4

Day Twelve Continued (May 2003)

"When you're a Pig,
You're a Pig all the way
From your first PVC.
To your last Palisades.
When you're a Pig,
If the polls hit the fan,
You got family around,
To say, "It's not so bad!"
You're never alone,
You're never disconnected!
You're home with your own:
When trolls are expected,
You're well protected!
Then you are set With the letters TP,
Which you'll never forget
Till they cart you away.
When you're a Pig,
You stay a Pig!
Oh, when the Pigs fall in at the Muppetfest dance,
We'll be the sweetest dressin' gang in pants!
And when other fans dig us with our Tough Pig smiles,
They're gonna flip, gonna flop, gonna drop just like flies!
When you're a Pig,
You're the hippest in town,
You're the Sesame Street kid
Wearing King Alan's crown!
When you're a Pig,
Nothin's better than this:
Little frog, you're a Robin;
Little Robin, you're Kermit!
The Pigs are in gear,
Our keyboards are clickin'!
The rest should steer clear
'Cause the other forum's full of lousy chickens!
Here come the Pigs
Like Animal's yell,
Someone ruins our party,
Someone don't feel so well!
Here come the Pigs:
Little minds, step aside!
Better go back to school,
Cause you're not worth our time!
We're drawin' the line,
So keep your typin' hidden!
We're hangin' a sign,
Says "Idiots forbidden"
And we ain't kiddin'!
Here come the Pigs,
Yeah! And we're growin' fast
Ev'ry day is more fun
Than all of the last!
On the whole!
Ever!
Muppet!
Lovin'!
Street!
Yeah!" Jessica 1792.9

"Warrick, sometimes your posts have an eerie, haiku-like beauty.
Don't ever change." Kynan 1794.15

"Quinn, I was so lucky I that got my first try [for an AOL screenname], 'WozzaFraggle' !" Warrick 1798.7
"*stares blankly* Did you really think WozzaFraggle would be taken? *blinks*" Mar 1798.8

"Hopefully we'll all still be friends years from now when you're all incredibly wealthy and you can pay me to loaf around making toys and babies. " Quinn 1805.17
Well, he got part of it right, anyway...

Weird letter to Danny: 1808.1

"As a kid, I always thought Linda was the coolest. I mean, sign language! Woah!" Isha 1822.13
As a hard-of-hearing kid, Linda was the center of the universe. The only person I could really relate to. And she still is, even if she's not on SS anymore.

"The most definitive thing you can say about Cookie's parents is that they probably got crumbs in the bed. " Smig 1840.6

Day Twelve- Happy Easter! (May 2003)

"Indeed, I say we form a temple to the goodness of Alaina. " Scott 1744.45

First Joe post (I think): 1753.1

"Yeah, pity me. I'm scared of polls, and I'm constantly being attacked by giant kangaroos." Kynan 1755.40

"But at least you are getting attacked by something somewhat amusing. I get attacked by cardinals, dogwood trees and uhmmm....Shirley MacLaine" Alaina 1755.41

first book club: 1761.1

"Are there cookie gardeners somewhere?
If so, I think I just found my new profession." Tom 1761.19

"A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds, adored by little statesmen and philosophers and divines. With consistency a great soul has simply nothing to do." -- Ralph Waldo Emerson
"Of course, Emerson was talking about the Muppet Babies vs The Muppet Movie, but I think it's relevant to this discussion too. " Danny 1761.37

"I buy the magazine with me on the cover every time I go shopping. " Ryan R. 1772.4

Saturday, April 15, 2006

Day Eleven Continuing (May 2003)

Everything I Need to Know I Learned From Ernie and Bert...

"If your roommate appears to steal your cookies, it's really just a blue monster wearing clothes and hair that looks just like your roommate. " Tom 1675.4

"You can have no visible means of support all year round, but money will only ever be an issue at Christmas.
It ain't a REAL trip to Egypt unless you see a singing statue." Kynan 1675.5

"You can't hear with a banana in your ear. " Alaina 1675.6

"It isn't a real bath unless 12 or 14 bath toys are involved. " Mike C. 1675.17

"Occasionally a man in a trenchcoat will try to sell you such abstract concepts as numbers, letters or possibly even air. Always take him up on it. " Tom 1675.21

We now return to your regular programming:

"Jerry Nelson has a whole selection of sigs for his characters also, Robin going up stairs, Floyd against music bars and Crazy Harry in an explosion. Though of everyone I love John Henson's sig, he signs a Sweetums sig then signs himself off, "John Henson - an Original Jim Henson creation". " Michael 1677.9

"Phil Donahue is actually my imaginary friend. I call him Mr. Snuf-Phil-upagus." Ryan R. 1678.30

"That'd make a nice addition to a Muppet performers list. "Frank Oz: performed by Jim Henson." " Jog 1678.82

"What I learned from Scott and Danny: All our friends wear hats." Isha 1688.8

Scott kisses Oscar: 1698.1

"I will now blast you with my Elmo Slingshot of Cuteness. " Scott 1712.23

Day Eleven (April- May 2003)

Isha gets attacked by the ugly toys: 1626.1

"Oooh, Mama's takin' us to the zoo tomorrow,
The zoo tomorrow, zoo tomorrow,
Mama's takin' us to the zoo tomorrow,
And we can stay all day. " Jessica 1634.18 I love this song.

"Really, the ToughPigs forum is just the beachhead for our Evil Scott Plan To Take Over The World. Soon, you will *all* change your name to Scott!" Scott M. 1634.44

Martha as sort of a new person: 1634.110

"I would not with some lox. Not in a box and not with sox. I would not fox on a box of sox." Scott 1636.39

"My favorite Bit was when they asked Kermit and Piggy if they had a special word for Bloopers, and Kermit says "I call them piggies." and Piggy is like "What??" and Kermits all "Yup, Piggies. I call them piggies all the time." It was so cute! and then ofcourse Piggy let him have it. "I'll show you a piggy!" she said, and *whack!*
Fozzie's answer? "A special name for bloopers and flubs? Yeah. I call them Harold." Isha 1638.1

"My dog doesn't pay much attention to TV, except when there is a doorbell sound effect, then she goes nuts." Isha 1641.26 Mine too.

"Me want panties.
Best title for a thread ever." Kynan 1650.6

"But doesn't everyone here constitute a random weirdo? We're safe for children ages 3 and up. " Sarah 1651.7

[Quinn's first conversation with Melissa] "involved her doing a Swedish Chef impression, "loaf of bread, quart of milk, stick of butter," and other Muppety memories. That's when I knew I wouldn't let her go, and started stalking her. " Quinn 1650.10

"Of course, the corollary would be "where did Byron first expose himself to the Muppets?" But we don't need to know. No, we don't. " Quinn 1654.5

"It feels like Beaker and Bunsen are having a party in my mouth!" Alaina 1669.1

"Are you saying I have balls?
... I'm not sure how I feel about this." Isha 1670.5

Friday, April 14, 2006

Day Ten (April 2003)

"And btw: are there H&M stores in the US?" Julian 1565.32
Yes, but not commonly. I've only seen one, in Chicago.

"I've had the picture of the Fiery with Karen Prell's head sticking out of the bottom of it for 3 years. Apparently, they thought that's what I actually looked like." Tom 1565.71

Barry Lee's first post: 1569.1

"And now it's time to be chased by an elephant." Smig 1578.7

"Isn't Bob like a sex icon in Japan?" Jackie 1580.8

"I always liked Bob, he was warm and familiar, like that old fuzzy blanket you've dragged around since birth." 'Isha 1580.16

Muppet dreams: 1582.21

Woth: 1586.1

"If Danny Weren't Gay" sounds like a Sesame Street song to me. " Danny 1593.11

"*picturing Warrick at a Bea Arthur concert*
Yep, that sounds about right." Jessica 1605.88

"Was I yelling? I guess sometimes I can't tell when I'm yelling.
That explains a lot, actually. " Danny 1609.4

"You know, Boober is *such* a stereotype of people who worry a lot, cook, and like to do laundry.
And Sal is such a stereotype of pushy bodyguard monkeys.
Stereotype or personality: you decide!" Emmy 1610.50

"I am never nude for the chats. In fact, just to be a brat, I dress in a snowsuit, complete with hat, scarf, and mittens. Although the mittens make it hard to type so I usually relent on that part. "
Jessica 1612.11

"I figure if they keep coming out with these things, and I keep getting them, eventually every flat surface in my apartment will have a Muppet standing on it, not to mention the space the playsets take up.
Then I'll have to start getting rid of books to put them on bookshelves, and when those fill up, I'll have to clear out the contents of my refrigerator, medicine cabinet, pantry, etc. Having no food, cleaning supplies or toiletry items will be difficult, but it's worth it" Ryan R 1614.6

Thursday, April 13, 2006

Day Nine Still Continuing (April 2003)

"I'm often surprised to discover that my head doesn't actually come off. " Tom 1536.53

"It's like when I went to buy the materials to make my own Mahna Mahna puppet, and I'm at Hancock's with fuscia colored fleece and a bright orange feather boa (for the hair) and the woman in line in front of me says, "I'm so glad when I see a guy accessorizing!"
I still have NO idea what that meant. " Kevin 1536.60

"See, Isha, that's what I like about you. You are truly the perfect woman. " Anthony 1539.62

"By the way, my favorite curse word in this [Gilda Radner] episode: "potatoes!"" Scott 1541.1

"Grover: I learned so many interesting things in so many places. I went to Central America and learned how to make bricks. I learned how to do a Mongolian bowl dance — you place a bowl on your head and you do a nifty little dance. The most interesting thing I learned was, despite how different we all are, no matter where you go, people are people — unless they happen to be monsters. " 1545.1

Word of the day thread: 1556.1

"Why does German sound so nifty though unintelligible?" Sarah 1556.33

"My dad's favorite German word is 'Ausfahrt' (exit) because he has a terribly jouvinile sense of humor." Isha 1556.48
My high school German teacher went on a bus tour through Germany, and one of the Americans on the tour, who didn't speak German, saw all the Ausfahrt signs, which marked exits off the highway, and said, "My, there are a lot of towns named Ausfahrt here!" This is my favorite stupid American story.

Day Nine Continued (March- April 2003)

"I love my life, if only for the sheer uniqueness of the things I read in on-line forums."
John 1440.4

"Why don't they just capture Muppet fans in big nets, turn us upside down and shake all the change out of our pockets? Then at least they could tag us and return us to the wild in some humane way. " Danny 1442.1

"Actually, "Foam Head" is a pretty good description of Muppet fans. " Danny 1454.3

"Foam Heads... yeah, I like it. A name with a good ring to it, and just strange enough to confuse outsiders. " Ryan R 1454.7

"There're also some great shots of ... Alice Cooper with his family at the premiere of Muppets From Space. Good to know that after all these years, he's still supporting the Muppets!"
Scott 1456.8 He has a FAMILY? Eek!

"On another note, "Tough Pigs" in Dutch is "taaie varkens". " Jog 1457.2

"Every man should measure themselves up to where they are in relation to Big Bird's standard for Ultimate Mate." Scott 1468.3

"Every Hot Topic I've gone into has been too "cool" to carry the Muppet stuff. And you can just forget about the Labyrinth T-shirts. " Tom 1475.19 And I nearly got killed riding my bike to Hot Topics to look for Labyrinth doorknockers, and they didn't have them! Grrr.

"So, I was watching TV with my siblings (ages 11 and 13) and this comercial came on with this actress (I forget her name) throwing a hissy fit. My sister says "She sounds like Miss Piggy." Brother says "Is she Miss Piggy?" I said, "No! Miss Piggy is a man." The reaction I got, you would have thought I told them boils were going to start springing up on thier faces. They literally began screaming in horror, and ended up writhing on the floor and twitching. (We're a little bit over dramatic in my family.) My sister then went flying down the hall screaming "Miss Piggy is a man!" After they had quieted down (and I had stopped laughing) I told them "Miss Piggy is Yoda, and Grover." This prompted a reaction of "Really? No way! That's so cool." "
Isha 1488.1

"Well I do have nightmares about some weird stuff.
It's not like I'm the universal model of sanity here." Emmy 1496.7

"My dream Sesame Pez is Oscar the Grouch Pez, which takes candy *away* from you. "
Danny 1499.2

"Are we sure it's spelled "Grundgetta?" I always thought it was "Grungetta." Of course, it's a matter of grave importance. " Ryan R 1507.7

"I think there's more to this than meets the eye. Maybe Oscar has two girlfriends. "
Danny 1507.13

"That's a first for me..Yaaay: noo tipos! ;D" Ryan 1525.15

Day Nine (February- March 2003)

"How many two-year-olds do you know that know all the words to "Waiting At the Church" and "Don't Dilly Dally On the Way" and have Peter Sellers and Bernadette Peters as their idols?" Scott 1371.28 I think Gillian is my idol.

"Watch out for people who have like sixteen different names for God. That is always a warning sign. " Danny 1371.31

"Silly boy, you do have some women powers!" Nate 1371.41

"So check it out, I made another Muppet fan. One more point for me. " Danny 1376.1

"I want a Gonzo bikini with exploding socks to match." Sarah 1377.43

"I have never in my life understood the difference between Britain, Great Britain, the UK and just plain old Mother England. Please don't bother trying to explain, though. It will only call unwanted US attention to yourselves at a time when Bush is bombing everything that moves, everything that once moved, and many things that aren't moving at the moment, and we can't prove ever did move, but might possibly one day think about moving, so it's better to be safe. "
Kynan 1387.44

I refuse to comment, but everyone seemed to enjoy this thread. 1390.1
But my belief for the popularity of Ernie and Bert in Germany is that whoever makes the merchandise is lazy, and only makes E&B merchandise. For example, every single one of the Sesamstrasse CDs has Ernie and Bert on the cover. So E&B are popular by default, because they are the only SS characters with merchandise.

"But when I buy Girl Scout cookies, you can bet I'm going to eat them." Ryan R 1399.11
*mouth waters*

Alaina's first post: 1415.23

Kellie's first post: 1415.25

"These action figures need to come with instructions. " Danny 1426.10

"Bambaloo is the sex scene that was edited from the Jungle Book. " Smig 1435.5

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

Day Eight (January- February 2003)

"If typos and misspellings means that David is drunk, then what does that say about Zack and Warrick? They must be drinking 24/7. " Danny 1316.18

"and damn if Paul Abdul don't look sexier than ever. " Scott 1330.2 Is he related to Paula?

"Die Welt schaut mächtig gut zu mir, Ursache Tootie Rollen alle sind an, die ich sehe." Jessica 1332.25

"If I'm ever gonna have children (and I will!) they're gonna be raised bilingual - if not multilingual (=in several languages)! " Julian 1332.30 I second that!

"Ich vestehe auch Spanish, und manchmal, wenn ich mit meine Großeltern rede, sie werden mir etwas auf Spanish fragen, und ich antworte sie auf Deutsch! " Isha 1332.31 Ich auch, aber es ist meine Spanischprofessorin, nicht meine Großeltern! Zum Gluck ist sie sehr nett.

"I'd almost want to set myself on fire for the hell of it, but these days I'm a little more careful with my life. In another 15 or 16 years though, who knows?" Scott 1335.20

"I live to serve the people." Danny 1339.5 I'll keep that in mind.

"Actually the experience sounded quite soothing. I considered lounging about in a vat of peanut butter and jelly myself!" Scott 1340.9

"What's weird about it is that it's dated March 2001, but the guy asks "Can you give any advice to someone who is terrified of flying and has to take a flight this coming September?" Scott 1346.3

"Everybody wastes money. Even homeless people waste money. If we weren't spending our money on Muppet junk, we'd just be losing it at the dog track or giving it to televangelists. The world is better off if we waste our money in harmless ways. " Danny 1348.1

"Animal's triplet brothers are named Vegetable and Mineral. " Ryan R 1357.12

"Scott would know. Scott knows everything. " Danny 1361.2

"Never go with the masses... unless it's Lord of the Rings." Scott 1362.13

So I know this probably isn't the most entertaining update, but I haven't eaten today either. So you have to cut me some slack.

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Day Seven (January 2003)

So I took most of today off from reading, with very happy results. If anyone is bored enough to wonder, it's all in my normal blog, igsbeth.blogspot.com. But now I'm back, and I feel much better.

"It's not like I'm living alone in my parents basement wearing Spock Ears or something. " Nate 1277.7

"My life is an open book.
Nobody is *reading* it maybe, but never the less... " Scott 1277.17

"It's a proven fact that Muppet fans are smarter, funnier, better looking and all-around more interesting than any other kind of fans in the world except maybe for Hello Kitty fans. " Danny 1277.25

"I talk to my Igel Kermit puppet. And when he doesn't talk back, I talk to the imaginary camera crew who came to shoot a documentary about my love for Muppets. " Jog 1277.32

"'If you've never heard his classic "Chelli from Big Bag gets drunk and sexually harasses Bag" routine, then, baby, you haven't lived.'
Even *I* didn't know I'd done this routine. Does that mean I haven't lived?" Kynan 1281.19

"I feel like I've already seen enough of Kermit talking about porn. I'd rather see Kermit talk about heroin. " Ryan R 1284.7

"Yes kids, beer tastes like candy in Germany!" Scott 1288.13
If it did, I would have a drinking problem, okay. As it is, I just have a candy problem.

"German McDonalds food is Soooo much better than US McD's. And you guys have those nifty edible sundae cups!" Isha 1289.8 What on earth are you talking about? Explain, please!

"My computer talks exactly the same language as me.
That's why we never get anything done." Kynan 1300.17

"Hey, why stop now? You know, it might be cool if you made a post in every single bloomin' thread, singling out an odd phrase and saying that it would make an excellent name for a rock band. Or, it might not be cool. " Ryan R. 1300.29
"It Might Not Be Cool would be a really bad name for a rock band. " Carolyn 1300.30
"Actually I was hoping someone would point out that Every Single Bloomin' Thread would make an excellent name for a rock band. " Ryan R. 1300.32

"Some day I hope that they can translate press releases into English." Emmy 1312.2

"I google myself constantly." Danny 1315.7
"You do this in private of course?" Scott 1315.8
"If not, I'm calling the cops." Ryan 1315.9

Monday, April 10, 2006

Day Six Still Continuing (December 2002- January 2003)

"Jes, you keep talking about my Delphi membership as if it's a medical condition I was born with. Anyone can get a Delphi membership; all they need is twenty dollars and a dream."
Danny 1206.21

First Quinn post that I noticed: 1297.12 "Can you dig it?" (excepting posts in threads that Anthony dug up and were obviously written later)

"I hesitate to explain the secrets of the word filter in too much detail. It will lead to experimentation, and may be a gateway to harder drugs." 1207.37 Danny

"Dude. When did you get here?" Carolyn, to Quinn (interestingly enough STILL unread) 1220.5

The women's underwear poll 1230.1 has 111 posts, while the men's underwear poll 1229.1 has 14 posts. Not that I'm counting.

"Judge ye not a book by its cover; neither shalt thou judge an M&M by the color of its candied shell, for the milk chocolate interior containeth the same sweet flavor regardless. Judge ye not also a woman by the cut or hue of her garments, but keep ye a close eye on any guy in khakis in the middle of April." Kynan 1230.20

"Man, no matter how we word it, we're all thinking the same thing on this board; and it's all about SEX." Scott 1230.51

"Whining is always helpful." Danny 1232.4

"I usually like my foreign films to be French or German in origin." Scott 1234.13
Yay Scott! Have you seen Good-bye, Lenin? I love it!

Now I know why Danny was worried about having his birthday mixed up. Way to make everyone congratulate you all year 'round. 1243.30

"But if anybody wanted to donate Muppet underwear for some nefarious reason, I'd be happy to be a pawn in your little scheme. Kind of like money laundering, but with underwear. It's underwear laundering. " Danny 1256.29

"I found one that complained that Elmo's World: Wild Wild West had country-sounding songs in it. You have to wonder what the person was thinking a Wild Wild West video would be like." Danny 1275.9

Day Six Continued (December 2002)

"Elmo Season.. For some reason I keep thinking of Elmer Fudd with a shotgun... " Smig 1126.9

"Valuable lesson for the day:
Do not read "My Week with Christmas Vacation" in a university computer lab, unless you *want* to get warning looks from the lab monitor.
(note: I'm not sure whether it was actually a warning look or if the monitor was trying to figure out if I was having some kind of fit) " Jess 1131.7

"When you watch the special, it's impossible to imagine Robert Downey Jr marrying anyone, or having any kind of normal human connection at all.
One of the many weird moments that didn't get mentioned is that at the end, while Stockard and Leslie are dancing, Robert walks up to them and says, "May I cut in?" Stockard flutters her eyes, and says, "Oh, Meester Weelowbi, it would be a play-sure," and then Robert grabs both Stockard *and* Leslie and dances off-screen with them both. Make of that what you will. "
Danny 1131.25

"Aww man, more corporate babble.. and here I thought you were going to provide me a link to cheap Muppet underpants. " Isha 1135.8

"Hey, turns out that having Kermit mention "Muppet fan sites" in VMX actually inspired people to go and look for Muppet fan sites. " Danny 1146.1

"Nup. Not even Gonzo and Kermit (in his reporter's outfit, no less) can make me care about baseball contract negotiation." Kynan 1148.4
(This thread also contains a short revival of the Vendaface band)

"Tough Pigs: Muppet Fans with Bad Attitudes... unless we're naked (or our Muppeteers are) which seems to cheer us up plenty."
Hey, do you suppose they've ever filmed a project completely in the buff? No one'd ever know! Maybe they all just wore socks." Scott 1149.20

"I've been hoping for years that the Muppet fan community could be a real grown-up fan community where we all sleep with each other and then gossip about it, just like all the other kinds of fans get to do. " Danny 1149.69 (This thread goes on for 171 posts. Some funny stuff.)

"Jackie, you're worried about being weird?" Scott 1158.22

"The moral of the story is, get a bunch of adult Muppet fans steamed up with sexy talk, and you get free pictures." Scott 1158.40

"These are the new months on the Emmy and Jackie calendar..
Billanuary, Billebruary, Billarch, Billpril, Billay, Billune, Billuly, Billugust, Billeptember, Billovember, Billecember. " Jackie 1158.48

"My son will be Julian. You will see. " Isha 1169.21

"You did it, you finally did it, damn you all to hell!
You created Muppet merchandise that even I wouldn't buy!" Danny 1171.3

"I'm praying for Disney right now. I know Disney is problematic, but the alternatives seem worse... " Danny 1175.2 Little did he know...

Muppet Homecoming King Poll 1176.1
(with Julian's first post 1176.52)

"Okay, whoever does the licensing at Henson should be taken out and shot." Marion 177.4

Eggnog poll 1178.1 Scott, boiled custard is very, very good, okay.

"Before now, I never really realized just how complex each of these characters [of the Electric Mayhem] were. It's insane isn't it? For the past couple days, I've been breaking each character down in my head, peeling away layers, trying to decipher which of them best fits the "coolest" mold and I'm left defeated...or I'm too cool to acknowledge one's misgivings in direct relation to another's superiority because those levels of seperation do not exist between the characters. They're just THAT cool.
I think I just had a spiritual moment." Scott 1182.12

" 'that'll break your heart and make you angry'
Why pay 10 bucks for that when I can just visit my family?" Kynan 1190.3
We must be distantly related...

"I just wish one or more of the old Henson crew would get together and put out a big, thick , book of all those funny behind-the scenes stories/ancedotes/pranks thay've done through the years.. " Smig 1194.27 We just had this exact same conversation about two weeks ago.

"I think the Welsh are sexy." Scott 1200.31 That's another language I want to learn, actually.

"Telly is rapidly becoming my Desert Island Muppet." Kynan 1201.7

Day Six (November -December 2002)

"I urgently propose a five-tiered Muppet Levels Of Excitement system for those of us who vibrate on a daily basis.
"I am a Muppet fan, therefore I vibrate" pretty much sums it up. Everything else is over and above. " Kynan 1026.3

"Wait! Hyper? Hyper?!! Moi? I never get hyper, Danny what are you talking about?!?! You think I can just ramble on, and on, and on, about nothing!?!! And I do not read Ladies Home Journal!...Better Homes and Gardens is another story...Just kidding.
Zach (Rowlf the, Wait! Cute! I am not cute! Who do you think I am?? Bean Bunny? Elmo?! Miss Piggy?!?! No! Well, I am cute with my Rowlf hat on...but that's it! Dog)." Zach 1026.7

"Oh gosh...Something about Piggy's legs makes me feel all tingly and weird inside..."
Kynan 1037.6

"I'm very impressed by anyone who can cage dance and type at the same time. I'd be even more impressed if you could also whistle Dixie." Ryan R. 1037.42

Tom Weldon co-wrote Hey Cinderella! while his son Joss Weldon wrote Buffy. Ryan R 1059.1

"How cool would it be to have a Little Bird Kubrick that couldn't be seen with the naked eye?
Think of the storage space you'd save if all your Muppet toys were the size of subatomic particles. " Kynan 1065.4

"I got one hit on TP from someone searching on Yahoo for "shoot pigs in the face"... I have no idea what they were looking for, but I can't imagine they found it on TP... " Danny 1070.1

"A thing of Beaker is a joy forever.. " Smig 1074.1

"Not that I'm going to be the one to do it, but I'm surprised no one yet has made an immature joke on the subject "THE BUSTS ARE OUT." Not that I'm going to be the one." Ryan R. 1074.9

"Thanksgiving Haiku:
So full of turkey
Loosen your belt, wave your legs
Please pass the Pepto." David 1075.3

"Peace on earth, and death to space ladies!" Danny 1078.1

"Kermit is also getting a spiffy new balloon for the parade, after the old one's elbow exploded, leaving him floating down the streets of New York City with a shriveled arm. " Smig 1079.1
You either eat something, throw penguins in the air, or blow something up...

"Brand new Muppet movie: $10,000,000.
Brand new tape: $1.00
Brand new Muppet fan chatter: priceless" Emmy 1083.40

Reading about A Very Merry Muppet Movie does NOT make me want to watch it again. Just call me Scrooge. I assume the movie might be more amusing if I ever watched Moulin Rougue, but I refuse to. I tried once and couldn't get through it. So there.

Santa's first appearance on the forum inspired Danny to comment:
"Yoicks. I could do with an explanation, if there is one." 1088.2

"I like to think that the Muppet writers never write a new project before deciding how easy it will for us to come up with an acronym. Apparently this time they just didn't care. Jerks. "
Ryan R. 1092.5

"But what's up with getting offended at God played by a woman?" Ryan R 1096.18
Exactly. MY church refers to God as "Father-Mother God." *grins smugly* (Not that I want to start a discussion on religion, because my church can be extremely goofy and hard to explain. I just had to comment on that anyway.)

"Actually, who am I to say anything about acronyms. I created a website whose initials are TP."
Danny 1096.21

My favorite misspelling so far...
"Actually it's not that monet exactly, it was just after that..." 1096.23 Matt
There was a Monet after Monet? I have to ask my art history professor about this.

Michal's first post (and don't you tell me it wasn't actually your first post, because you signed it "First-time Poster." LOL.) 1096.40

What Fozzie should have said in VMX: 1099.1

"What's wrong with soap operas?
Or, as you might put it, what's wrong with sope oprahs?" Danny 1116.14
(funny discussion on Zach's spelling)

Cute letter to Danny: 1124.1 (posted by Danny)

Sunday, April 09, 2006

Day Five Continued (October- November 2002)

"I've always wanted to do that with people I don't want to deal with anymore, just send 'em to Switzerland for a peace conference." Danny 920.9 (Is that why my dad sent me to Switzerland that time?)

"In other words: I don't know. Do Germans play baseball?" Isha 926.15 (Answer: No. My German ex-host parents assure me they understand every ball game there is except baseball.)

"At his least he isn't still saddled with the moniker "Buffy"... a dog can only take so much humiliation in a lifetime!" Jessica 931.27 (Watch it, my beloved teddy bear was named "Buffie." I have no idea why, but it's probably why my mom nicknamed me "Beffie.")

"Hmm, the only thing worse than techno babble is drunken techno babble." Isha 934.9

"Surely the obvious solution is to publish a single, unified, master list...in Chronological Order Of Guest Star Death.
The guest star who died first is Show One, the guest star who died second is Show Two and so on.
Granted, it gets more difficult when you run out of guest stars who are actually dead, but that's where the added fun of Completely Subjective Speculation comes into it. " Kynan 937.5

Cool interview of guy who worked with Muppets: 938.1

"Never mind, my posts are clearly becoming more and more like Dadaist poetry every day. I have to go feed the piano." Danny 940.12

Michael Frith and Kathy Mullen do their bit to save the world, while all Danny notices is that they got married: 951.1

Interview about Kami in which I would like to kick said interviewer in the pants: 957.1

"Thanks to the Jackie Chan/Henson merger, we can now look forward to films like "Penguin in the Bronx," "Superbear-on-Patrol," "Legend of Drunken Muppet," and a buddy movie in which Chan plays a cop who is hilariously mismatched with the Swedish Chef. Watch the fun as you try to understand what either of them is saying. " Ryan R. 960.21

First TP anniversary: 979.1

Ernie and Bert interview: 982.5

"When I was very young, I thought Nanny was Ronald McDonald's wife because they both have striped stockings." Ryan R 990.8

"I'm sorry to say this, Dr and Mrs Wiesner, but your daughter has...a belated cumpleaсos feliz.
There's not much we can do now but try to make her comfortable." Kynan 992.13

"<My Christmas tree cost less than that. >>
I think the Jim Henson Company costs less than that..." Emmy 993.18

Non-Fraggle Stuff: 997.1

"It's a youth-centered age we live in, when even homeless syndicated programs won't admit to passing above the frightful 18-25 demographic." David S. 1000.1

"Danny has a Kermit? Is that from when he was a baby? Actually, I don't know if Danny is a baby or a kid. Or... a grown-up? *thinks* Well, Danny likes Sesame Street. He thinks Bert and Ernie have hundreds of the same shirts and pants. *crazy laughter* Danny!"
Emileigh, quoted by Jessica 1004.15

"Most ridiculous cereal names: Urkel-os and C3P-Os. can you imagine someone trying to ward off the Empire with a bowl of cereal?" Smig 1006.11

Day Five (August-October 2002)

I didn't realize that a TPer worked on MirrorMask: 773.1

"So, yeah, Sesame Street makes ads in Japan, but apparently so does Brad Pitt, so how bad can it be." Danny 789.2

"Hmmm, when you start counting on Chicken Dance Elmo to get you through a crisis, that's not a good sign. " Danny 789.13

"I still can't say bust without thinking it sounds weird. " Danny 792.1

"Besides all that, Muppet movies on video and TV means I don't have to line up at a multiplex for a ticket: I can get my Muppet fix anonymously, just like I do with my third-rate ripoff videos and pornography." Kynan 793.8

"These figures are making me thirsty!" Kynan 797.7

"Apparently everywhere in outer space is England. " Danny 800.22

"LICENSEE: We, uh, we've decided to stop publishing Muppets stuff.
HENSON: Gee, why? I thought we had a thing going there.
LICENSEE: Yeah, the items sell well, it's just that every time we release something, we get emails from your fans berating us for not releasing something even more obscure.
HENSON: Oh, the fans. Yeah, we've heard about them. " Kynan 820.8

"Woohoo! Bring on the straight Muppet fans. 'Bout damn time." Jessica 822.32

"By the way, I can't help but notice that I said there were only five straight male Muppet fans, and then five straight male Muppet fans said, "Hey, I'm a straight male Muppet fan!"
It's nice to be proven right so precisely. " Danny 822.56

"Cookie Monster is a little off (he looks like a blue Elmo with a beer gut)." Jess 822.89

"Believe me when I say that was a completely unintentional sex change." Amberly 835.14

"I need advice for Swamp Years... When I took it out of the package and tried it out, I found out its left arm won't move. What can I do about that without breaking it? Should I gently turn it around with some pliers or put it in the fridge?" Jog 843.9

"Maybe we could create some kind of scale of happy-birthdayness that you could comfortably wish for people, as appropriate.
So I would wish my best friend a 100% happy birthday, an acquaintance a 40% happy birthday, and my worst enemy a -100% unhappy birthday. " Danny 850.16

"Here's some more ideas for what to do while everyone else is singing happy birthday to someone you hate:
-- Spill your drink on their furniture.
-- Flirt with their spouse.
-- Excuse yourself, go to their bathroom, look through their medicine cabinet and then come back and announce your findings.
-- Plot revenge. " Danny 850.27

Isha's official, according-to-her, first post. 852.1
"I blame you. All of you! You make me want to be a better muppet fan."

"Aren't we all ridiculously good looking? I thought that was a pre-req for being a Muppet fan. "
Danny 857.6

"Ridiculously gorgeous? Why yes, yes I am.
No, wait. Hold on. That's wrong.
I'm gorgeously ridiculous. Sorry for the confusion. " Ryan R. 857.17

"There are hidden depths to chickens," said Professor Christine Nichol who has studied their behavior. " Meagan 864.1 (I want to walk up to a random stranger and say that.)

"Squirrels in general are evil. But the big gray ones are, like, the zealous generals of the squirrel war. " Carolyn 864.23 (I think this girl has visited my college campus. Hilarious thread.)

"The only thing left to do is find out just what the hell Bambaloo is." Kynan 866.2

"Oh, sure, cause sending a cable channel a photograph of a cracker is a universally recognized method of civil disobedience." Danny 870.4

Random comment: Reading so much about KSY is actually making me want to watch it again. Wow. Pity that by the time I return to my DVD collection, this urge will be long forgotten and TMS Season One and unedited MFC will be my priorities.

"Oh !
I've got Fans !
Now all I need is Penguin bodyguards in Tuxedos!" Warrick 880.8

"There's a real Tough Pigs lesson in it: Stand up for what you believe in, and eventually, you get to play with dynamite." Kynan 886.2

"It's like some weird Muppet fan soap opera." Emmy 905.14

"And the one really amusing thing that I would recommend to any Muppet fan with a little time on your hands is to listen to the Spanish version of "Movin' Right Along." I feel for the poor translators who had to try to translate Paul Williams' incredibly wordy, nonsense-filled songs into that fast, quirky tune structure -- and then to have two voice actors try their best to sing it, probably with no idea what they're even singing about. But check it out, they're trying so hard to do an essentially impossible task. It's kind of touching, actually. " Danny 911.1 (I'm adding this to my to-do list.)

"You're right, how embarrassing would it be to be a Television Dolls Fan." Danny 911.7

Saturday, April 08, 2006

Day Four Never Ends (July- August 2002)

'Dr.Teeth: "This is a Tiki God of very heavy duty proportions"
Floyd: "We gotta keep our little froggy friend away from this Tiki dude."' Artie 708.7

"Dag, "Elmo Says Boo" is bad enough on video. On DVD it may be a war crime. " Danny 714.3

"Next up on Muppet Central: a startling investigative report on what color oranges are. " Danny 721.10

"Remind me to put a stink bomb in the next letter I send you." Jessica (to Danny) 727.8

"Maybe it was a Pinnochio thing. Arnie the alligator was a puppet, but he wished to his fairy godmother to become a real alligator. Yeah, that must be it." Ryan R. 728.10

"LIFE is a bitch.
Her name is Irma and she's has seventeen litters of puppies. " Smig 730.17

"All you "real name" people are weird and just a little bit scary." Scott 732.27

"I don't know any Certain Aussies.
I am, however, acquainted with a large number of Uncertain ones..." Kynan 732.41

"Now I'm entirely disturbed. That gives a whole new meaning to "Nads, From our home to yours." " First Isha post! 732.55

"Oh please--we taupe-lovin' yuppies are too boring to be spawns of the devil--" Amberly 742.6

Elmo IS on Bear. He paints himself psycedelic, adds a prosthetic tail, and plays Treelo. Smig 772.18

Day Four Still Continuing (June- July 2002)

George Lucas 'literally made the joke that Yoda is the love child of Kermit the Frog and Miss Piggy."' Scott 640.1

"This week's topic: The five stages of making a Muppet website -- Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance. Which stage are YOU at? " Danny 645.1

"Is there still going to be an Internet in 2004? I never plan ahead that far. What if the giant bugs take over? " Danny 645.11

The first Tough Pigs Dictionary:
"Classic Sesame Street Fan" : noun, see Psychobrat
"C'est la Vier" : phrase, expressing the unique sensation that one feels when a Muppet Central staff person comes over to your yard to pick a fight with you and then acts surprised when he is not received warmly
"Bling Bling Muthafuckas" : phrase, which roughly translates to "I apologize for calling you a whining child"
"Kynan Barker" : noun, a mythological creature with the head of an Australian and the body of a lion
"Psychobrat" : noun, see Classic Sesame Street Fan
645.21 Danny

"Maybe it's American humour, but I didn't know if you were being sarcastic or just plain weird..." Warrick 647.3

"If The Muppet Christmas Carol songs start to grow on you, seek medical help." D. W. 650.6
"Hey now! 'One More Sleep Till Christmas' grew on me. It took forever to wash it off though... " Jackie 650.7

"Christ, I looked like Chewbacca after a facial shave at that age." Daniel 652.8

'"What am I still doing online? I've got Muppets to play with!" - that seems like it might make a not-too-shabby ToughPigs motto in itself!' D. W. 653.8

"Well, sure, if you post here that there's some interesting news posted at MC, then, yeah, it's my job as a responsible Muppet journalist to bite the bullet and go and read MC. It's not easy, it's not fun, and it makes me vaguely sick to my stomach, but I do it, because I take my responsibilities seriously.
But I don't do it for recreational purposes, and I don't inhale." Danny 656.7

"I get my news sources the old-fashioned way. I buy them on Ebay." Danny 656.8

"When you're bitter about Marty, you're pretty much bitter for life." Danny 660.5

Sung to the tune of "HAPPINESS HOTEL"
Welcome to "MUPPET FIGURE HELL”
"You’ve finally found those figures
One day in your local store
You whip out your used credit card
Then rush right out the door
At home you tear open the packing
And then things do not seem well
Well welcome all, to “MUPPET FIGURE HELL!”
First you undo all those twist-ties
Then you blurt out “What the F—K?”
You try to move the arms and legs
But all the limbs are stuck!
And the paint hasn’t quite dried yet
And it has this funny smell
Well welcome all, to “MUPPET FIGURE HELL!”
WELCOME ALL! WELCOME ALL!
FRANKLY, HAVING WAITED ALL THIS TIME WE”RE REALLY UP THE WALL!
Now the Kermit’s leaning over till his face touches the floor
The Bunsen feels real sticky and
Teeth’s hat falls off once more
And the Piggy-HA! Forget it! It doesn’t look like her too well!!
Well, welcome all to “MUPPET FIGURE HELL!”
Look! There’s a splice! Look! There’s a spew!
If they screwed these figures up this much, Dear God help series two!
They got every kind of paint-splotch
They got every kind of smear
But they’re still the best-looking figures that we’ve ever seen appear!
As to how the others come out
We just hope they’ll break the spell
And get us out of “MUPPET FIGURE HELL!”
Please rescue us.. FROM “ MUPPET FIGURE HELL!!” Smig 662.1

"Apparently, on Altavista, if you search for "miss piggy AND kermit AND sex" -- Tough Pigs comes up as the first result. I can only hope that that person was satisfied with what they found on TP. " Danny 673.1

"I was having visions of invisible Muppets (trickier than it sounds) showing up on eBay. Buyer: "But the package appears empty." Seller: "That's because it's the all new must have Exclusive Invisible Emperor Penguin from Muppet Classic Theater's Emperor's New Clothes!" "
Travis 681.6

Muppet anagrams by Danny:
"The Great Muppet Caper = Purge cheap re-attempt
The Muppets Take Manhattan = Amen! That ham kept apt tunes.
The Muppet Christmas Carol = Much atmospheric splatter" 694.1 (funn-ee thread)

"Wow. Somehow seeing Baby Bear's disembodied head for sale is both morbid AND satisfying at the same time. " Smig 696.16

"Yeah, and as usual, Republicans choose the most amazing targets to pick on -- sick people and Elmo. Well done.
Next, they'll courageously take on the impending threat of bunnies, crossing guards and people with head injuries. " Danny 699.4

"It's got an intelligent metal-eating space weed, and that's got to count for something. "
Danny 701.3

"I always thought that if there's one SS character likely to give you inappropriate diseases it must be Elmo. You just don't know where he's been... " Julia 702.4

Day Four Continued (June 2002)

"Watch closely when the Titanic sinks, and you can clearly see a couple of Oompa-Loompas and a guy in a cat suit on the far left of screen sitting underneath a plastic palm tree." Kynan 565.1

"I, as it turns out, actually have no face!" Ryan R. 585.11

"Maybe I should become a vengeance demon." Scott 591.11

"Clams don't eat curry! They eat rice pilaf. " Ryan R 591.19
"No, oysters eat rice pilaf. Clams eat curry. common mistake. " Smig 591.20

Daniel's first thread was 594.1, entitled "Bling Bling Muthufuckus," which inspired the comment:
"I thought the name of this post was referring to the new imaginary friend for Big Bird.
Introducing Bling Bling Muthufuckus the large fuzzy giraffe like creature that always calls Big Bird just Big." Dwayne 594.2

"Wasn't that one of the plagues from the book of Exodus? Rain of Muppets? " Ryan R. 617.32

"Then I did a Google search and found the Muppet underwear picture, and that just made my day. What this says about my life I don't really know. " Danny 620.3

"Sometimes I put Jell-O down my pants." Scott 621.10

"When the chips are down, I think we should all focus on our salad. " Danny 627.1

Day Four (April- June 2002)

As Warrick begins his sucessful Fraggle Rock petition, Jessica decides that Karen Prell is not only the meanest person alive, she is delusional. 468.1

"Why are so many classic Sesame Street fans so high?" 474.10 Danny

"I think between counting down to the film's 20th Anniversary and discussions of how to braid the Sideshow Kira's hair, there's actually more going on in the Dark Crystal fan community than the Muppet fan community." 477.11 Carolyn

"So everybody's all bored waiting for a) the action figures to come out or b) Muppet Central to burst into flames." 478.1 Danny

"I absolutely HATE candy and I think all things candy should be killed." 478.12 Jog

"Anyone who's been to my apartment will understand when I say that "where will the Muppet stuff go" is pretty much the first thing that comes to mind. It's kind of like if you moved the Atlantic Ocean somewhere; you'd want to know where all the water would go. " 482.8 Danny


"That's an excellent recommendation for "Muppets On Location"... They should use that on the ads. "I was dozing off!" -- Mark P. ..... I feel like an archaeologist. I'll let y'all know if I find any ancient Disney World pottery shards. " 483.5 Danny

"And Baby Bear is the plague. He must go away. Now." 486.9 Emmy

"The one production I did hate, though, was "The Muppets and Carrot Top Celebrate Hitler's Birthday." What were they thinking?" Ryan R. 486.10
(Actually, this entire thread is the greatest.)

"Is it possible young women in this country would have better self-esteem if Miss Piggy was the standard of beauty?" Ryan R. 495.8

"And you're thinking about me in my underwear. I can see your thoughts through the computer screen. " Danny 503.20

"By the way -- it turns out that if you write a really bad, nasty review of someone's TV show, then it's probably not a great idea to try to have a conversation with him later. Apparently it upsets people. I had no idea. " Danny 505.12

"The only thing that could make that website more annoying would be if it blared some sort of freaky sock anthem. " Jess 510.2

"I went to a Denny's last weekend. I walked in and looked around for a poster or something with Miss Piggy on it. A waitress approached and asked if I wanted a table. I said, no, I'm just looking for a friend.
This story is brought to you by the Council for Amazingly Sentimental Fan Stories." Danny 513.14

"This week, Tough Pigs Honors Our Ewoks.
Ewoks! Ewoks! We love you. Thank you for all you do.
We love how cute and fuzzy you are. We love the scene where Wicket waddles across the log to say hi to Princess Leia. We love the scene where the Ewok is trying to throw a stone with a sling and ends up knocking himself out. We love that there are midgets inside of you.
But most of all, most of all -- we love how Star Wars fans get all edgy when we mention Ewoks, like Star Wars was this big serious important drama before the Ewoks came along and messed everything up.
Hooray for you, Ewoks. We light a big fire and shake our little sticks in celebration of you and your neoteny. " Danny 522.10
(Another very excellent thread)

"I want an Arnie the Alligator wind up toy that bites Goggles' head off!" Scott 523.1

"Pronouncing it your way makes it sound like a sex act.
I'm not saying whether that's good or bad. I'm just pointing it out." Danny 524.7

"The company's going through a hard time?
Oh, crap.
I hate you all, your websites suck, and all your opinions are WRONG!
Sincerely,
Generic Muppet Fan
PS. I could kick Elmo's ass." Kynan 527.8

Worst idea ever for MuppetFest fund-raising (after 16 years as a Girl Scout, I should know): "Dress up as a scout and sell muffins at the Ohio people." Jog 534.8

"Maybe instead of fighting each other, men and women should team up to fight against the *real* enemy, which is bugs." Danny 536.1 (Good thread!)

"maybe Frank Ozitis is more contagious than medical professionals originally thought." D. W. 544.5

"Did you see any Muppeteers cleaning toilets?" Erik 548.4
"If the Henson company tanks, you just might." Smig 548.5

"Say, is there such a thing as a Muffin eating Shark????? " Terry Angus 540.5

"And I'm not even a competent tap dancer. Go figure. " Danny 552.14

"For me, it's all about being able to say the sentence, "The models are all SPIES?" and really honestly meaning it. " Danny 555.5

Friday, April 07, 2006

Day Three Still Continuing (April 2002)

"So Brian Henson thinks that I'm a crazy person. Is he right?" 427.1 Danny

"If it weren't for us crazy people, The Henson Co. would be out of business!" 427.3 Smig

"As Muppet fans, are we naturally weird, or does our weirdness come from being Muppet fans?" 427.9 Emmy

"Or is our weirdness thrust upon us by an uncaring world?" 427.10 Danny

"I've often wondered if Muppet fan weirdness is a result of Mahna Mah-nature, or Mahna Mah-nurture. " 427.16 Ryan R

"Hey, y'know what would be neat on the Henson.com site? If every time you rolled your mouse over a picture of Kermit, it winked at you, and then did a five minute tap dance. " 435.6 Danny

"I blame it on the jungle animal sandwiches which just seem to be my downfall this week." 439.10 Jessica

"For months Gillian said Kee-Kee for Kermit, which sounded a lot like the way she would say Cookie (for Old Googly Eyes), but I always knew exactly to whom she referred." 446.12 Scott

"Is it just me, or has anyone else spent hours making Oatmeal Art?" 448.8 Scott

"Tough Pigs helps me get the milk out of my nose. " 456.16 Mark

"I vote we become international super-spies. Who's with me? " 456.22 Danny

note to self: start tomorrow at thread 467. Sleep tight, don't let the bed bugs bite!

Day Three Continued (February-April 2002)

Some of the comments that refused to show up yesterday mysteriously appeared today, and are posted therefore twice. What the hey. I blame it on Vendaface.

"There's a difference between aspirin and ecsta--
No wonder my Saturday night sucked.
...but my headache is gone." 349.8

"May the road rise to meet you, may the wind always be at your back, and may Grover always sit in your lap." 352.11

'"Lola Falana" honestly sounds like the Latin name for somebody's private parts.' 360.52

Delphi Forums warn that the sky is falling in 361.1. Is this the end for Tough Pigs? I'll just have to keep reading.

"I am a terrible god. I think I need more practice. " 368.1

"Bomb the crickets! With their stupid hats and canes and constant wishing on stars..." 370.5

"Give me Pops or give me death." 372.4

"I'd give up oxygen to see more Muppets" 382.2

Info I didn't know about Muppeteer cameos (except for Steve, obviously): 390.2

The answer to what we have all been asking ourselves: Who is Nigel Lythgoe? 392.20

"Dave Goelz is a Sesame Street Project." 393.5

"Some people believe that Muppeteers were the result of millions of years of evolution. This is, in part, supported by the fossil record, where the ancient remains of ventriloquists and running gags that somewhat resemble Muppeteers have been identified. However, there are others who believe that Muppeteers were created for a specific purpose by a supreme being. The details of this creation story are unclear after being passed down from generation to generation, although I believe that there is a "magic triangle" involved. One breath-taking musical rendition of this story includes a very moving two-minute tambourine solo. " 393.15
This post gave me deja vu.

"I suppose everyone ought to be able to have their own beliefs about Muppeteer origins. Whatever brings you inner peace and makes you one with the universe they formed.
Personally, I think it started with a moldy cheese sandwich.
It just makes sense. " 393.16

"The story also involves a Neanderthal man putting his hand into a paleoithic green winter loincloth. And there are some prehistoric Ping Pong balls in there too. " 393.18

As some Tough Pigs discuss Miss Piggy as a gay icon, Jackie and Jog make wedding plans to rival that of the hunchback of Notre Dame in the Debbie Harry episode of TMS.
"Yes Joggy...despite your incloreness I will marry you. Get out the neon green tux :) " 408.14

Ever have an insatiable urge to read a book which describes Jim Henson's memorial service? Check out What a Way to Go: Fabulous Funerals of the Famous and Infamous. 410.1

'Elton John could not stop laughing during [the taping of "Breaking My Heart"] and they had to stop a bunch of times, until Miss Piggy (Frank Oz) said "I can't work with amateurs, I'm leaving!"' 422.1

Day three (January- February 2002)

I'm really not happy about how it's not letting me edit posts. I will just have to keep creating new posts, even though I hate coming up with the titles for them. I don't feel creative enough to make them interesting (obviously). But I am correcting spelling in some of the quotes posted here, for the benefit of the Grammarian Lady.

"Gosh, I'm like the Sims sex advice columnist. " 217.54

There were some really sweet columns in which Scott discussed Gillian as a fourteen-month-old.

Jane Henson faces off with Wilkins and Wontkins- and wins- in 223.7. Go Jane!

"Ugly creatures demanding love from me...
Why is this reminding me of my early dating experiences?" 228.18

"The PEDIGREE Fraggles all look like they've been through electroshock therapy." 228.28

The in-depth discussion of Muppets in the Blues Brothers at 257.1 rocks my world.

I have to convince my art history professor to let me do this: "A paper on Muppets and post-modernism is a great idea." 260.21

"I went to see Labyrinth in the theatre when it first came out. I guess I was about 8 back then. Since then I was hooked on the Muppets and Bowie's pants. " 270.9

"Ah, Ebay, that whimsical goddess. She giveth Muppet toys and taketh all my money." 273.1

"I'm not sure where I am. It seems like New Jersey, only edible."274.12

"By the way, did you know there's a newsgroup called alt.recovery.disease.muppet-crotch?" 280.15 (This is the earliest thread about odd Delphi forums.)

"To me, the Superbowl has always sounded like a prop from a Swedish Chef sketch. A giant piece of tableware with powers beyond mortal dinnerplates, and with a napkin for a cape. " 281.6

Random Muppet Things That Make Us Happy: 292.1

"A chicken once sat on my shoulder, and let loose some explosive Bernadette Peters." 294.6

Danny, do you still have any copies of MuppetFest Memories Zine left? (asks she sheepishly yet hopefully) 311.32

Earliest Rock band name thread: 317.1

Followed by the first practice of the Vendaface band: 331.1

Thursday, April 06, 2006

Day Two Continued (January 2002)

Some of the additions disappeared from the last entry, so I starting a new one for the posts I still remember. Grrr. I never had this problem with blogger.com before. Or maybe it is Danny's secret revenge on me for posting so many of his quotes.

I like the discussion "Most Boring Movie Love Song" in 189.1. In my opinion, most of the love songs in Muppet movies are boring and slow the movie down, even if they are good songs. I don't see why Brian Henson considers a love song to be essential to every Muppet movie (although I don't remember one in MFS or KSY). This might be an interesting discussion to repeat, since there are lots of diffferent people around now.

There were multiple adorable threads in which Scott discussed Gillian as a fourteen-month-old.

"Gosh, I'm like the Sims sex advice columnist. " 217.54

"It taught me a lot, mostly about not trusting folksingers with a key to the liquor cabinet." 221.8

Day Two (October 2001-January 2002)

So I didn't get very far yesterday, but if I had stayed any longer the security guard would've kicked me out. I've been thinking about this project, and I've decided it's a health thing. If I didn't do it, I'd be bored, and when I'm bored, I overeat. So, it's essential for my health that I do it. Right?

So why did Kynan comment "What would be *really* odd is if they listed the stars in reverse alphabetical order, but all the stars were named Zorn Zzhalvisson"? Find out in post 15.9!

And Danny considered advertising Tough Pigs with the description: "IT'S INFECTED! Everybody wash your hands." in 16.1. This is probably exactly the kind of thing he didn't want me to dig up, but I think it's hilarious.

The now infamous incident where Steve Whitmire showed up on the forum and got insulted for a puppeteering appearance, appears in http://forums.delphiforums.com/toughpigs/messages/?msg=17.8.

Another couple of amusing Danny quotes, the first of which is likely to draw the ire of the Grammarian Lady: "Two months ago, I couldn't even spell website, and now I is one. " Post 25.10.

"And a young man's Innocence is forever shattered.
In other words, it's just another Tuesday on the Tough Pigs Forum. " Post 31.23

Thread 35.1 does not exist. At least 70 messages were all deleted. Neither does thread 39.1, or 166.1. Curiouser and curiouser.

Many Muppet fan histories appear in 49.7, 51.31, and 56.1. I love these stories, they make me feel warm and fuzzy.

I found out that Frank Oz's voice is in Monsters, Inc in thread 76.1. I feel very bad for not knowing this before. I only saw that movie once, during a bus ride through Ireland, and I couldn't hear a word. Now I HAVE to see it properly.

Another Steve Whitmire post here: http://forums.delphiforums.com/toughpigs/messages/?msg=110.1.

"There seems to be some kind of weird Muppet-Germany energy going on in the world."
http://forums.delphiforums.com/toughpigs/messages/?msg=118.16

Earliest ever Tough Pigs mention of Bea Arthur: Post 121.2

"If you search for "Strega Nona Tomie dePaola," Tough Pigs comes up on the fourth page.
Of course, I'm not saying that anyone in their right mind WOULD search for that." 130.3

Scott states that "there's no sex in Europe" in 146.8. Luckily he was being sarcastic, because I have heard from a usually reliable source that my sister is having a steaming love affair with an opera singer in Lübeck. And without sex, that would be a pure waste of time.

"I took two notebooks full of notes -- and I think if I posted it all, it would be so huge and complicated that it might actually become a sentient life form." 147.13 (rather like this post)

"People already look at me in a suspicious manner. I'm a Muppet fan." 147.14

I want to join the Club for Straight People Who Didn't Go to Muppetfest. (151.5) I have felt the need to for years, without being able to express it quite that way. I feel even more like that after reading all these threads about MuppetFest. (I read about MuppetFest before it happened on the main page at MC, but I still didn't get to go. That was when I first realized the possibilities of Muppet Online Fandom. It took a few years before I joined a forum, though.)

The Many Faces of Kynan had a showdown in thread 161.1, with amusing results.

Scott's e-mail was discussed for the first time in 162.1.

"I'm trying to use my awesome powers for good rather than evil.
No, wait. Not good. The other thing. Toys. " 171.71

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

Day One (October 2001)

I have been doing enough real travel for a while. Not that I don't love travelling everywhere, but it gets expensive. So, faced with a long vacation and armed with Martha's advice that I don't need Delphi Plus like I thought, I have decided to copy Anthony and read Tough Pigs. I already did that, but I am going to try to read every single post. Which is a lot. I decided that this needed some kind of record, or else I might loose track, so I started this blog.

I have discovered that the gay Scooter in A Very Merry Muppet Christmas was foreseen in post http://forums.delphiforums.com/toughpigs/messages/?msg=3.1. I don't remember seeing Bunsen in the surrealism part, so this may explain his absence.

And there is an awesome Gonzo interview in http://forums.delphiforums.com/toughpigs/messages/?msg=13.1.

So far, so good.